


Bare Skin

by livingwithmermaids



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, Mentions of Rape, Nightmares, Protective Sam Winchester, Rape Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-27
Updated: 2015-03-27
Packaged: 2018-03-19 20:20:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3622965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/livingwithmermaids/pseuds/livingwithmermaids
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Things definitely changed after Sam found out about what happened to Dean.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bare Skin

**Author's Note:**

> Sequel to Sing Me to Sleep. Song lyrics from the song Hey Jude by The Beatles, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4mjGsdF3k1s

Sometimes Dean couldn't open his eyes.

He wanted to. So much, but it was like there was glue between his eyelids, forcing them shut, flashes of the night at the bar replaying over and over again, and no matter how much he screamed, no matter how much he begged, for him to stop, for someone to help him, for _Sam_ to help him, no one would come, and everything came crashing down again. But then, when it was all done, he would feel a hand on his back, and a voice whispering in his ear, telling him that everything was okay and that he was safe now, and he would wake up to see Sam's soft hazel eyes, and after Dean started to cry, Sam would hug him, and pick up the jagged, broken pieces that was Dean Winchester.

Sometimes Dean would be angry.

He'd be pissed at the world. Pissed that he felt like the weight of the world rested on his shoulders. Pissed that after everything he did, after all the good he'd done, that he had to be hurt this way, that he had to feel like he deserved it. But sometimes, when Dean was drunk and delusional, he'd be angry at Sam. So, so angry. He'd think about he ways Sam had hurt him, betrayed him, lied to him. He'd think about the fights they'd have about stupid things Dean did to save his little brother. And sometimes, when he was on a roll, he'd blame Sam for what happened to him. If Sam hadn't left early, Dean would have been okay. If Sam had taken a cab, Dean would be okay. If Sam had just bothered to call, check on him just once, everything would be okay. Sometimes, he would tell Sam why he was so angry, and he wouldn't stop to see Sam's guilty face and silent tears. He would scream, and throw empty beer bottles, and once, Sam had to wrestle a knife away from him. Dean was never really sure if he wanted to hurt Sam, or himself.

Sometimes, he feels like it's both.

~o~

"You'll be okay, right? You don't need me to come in with you or-"

"Sam, I'm not a child. I can buy a sandwich and go to the bathroom on my own!"

Sam let out a deep breath, almost like Dean was throwing a fit and Sam was ready to be done and force Dean back in the Impala, and if Dean didn't have to piss so bad, he would have punched Sam in the face by now.

He knew Sam was worried. Worried about their of lack cases, worried about their friends, and most definitely worried about Dean. It seemed that Dean was now the center of Sam's entire universe, more so if he wasn't already, and everything was based on how Dean was feeling that day.  _Should we go out to eat? Nope, Dean is too tired, he should sleep. Should we take this case? Nope, Dean had a nightmare last night, he won't be able to do research. Should we drive to the next state and pick up those books? Nope, Dean hasn't eaten dinner yet, we can't drive two hours straight._ While Dean could see the affect those decisions were having on Sam, who wouldn't eat without making he did first, wouldn't breathe without making sure Dean did first, it made Dean want to shoot somebody. He didn't lose ability to fight, or to stay up late to research on a case, and the idea of Sam thinking he was unable to  _do his job_ , made everything that much more difficult to deal with.

"Dean..."

Dean was snapped out of his thoughts as Sam looked at him with pleading eyes. Dean crossed his arms.

"Look, Sam. I understand that you're... worried. I get it, I do. But I need you to just... lay off for a bit, okay?"

Dean would have felt guilty causing Sam's sad puppy dog eyes if he hadn't felt so suffocated. Sam gave a small, jerky nod.

"Yeah, man. 'Course. I should'a known that-"

Dean cut him off with a hug, something he'd started doing a lot after Sam found out about what happened to him. It was strange, craving Sam's touch. Whether it was their hands brushing, or a hand on his back, Dean always felt better when Sam was pressed against him, and he knew Sam felt the same. Sam always seemed happy to let Dean curl up next to him after a nightmare, with Dean's head on his chest and an arm over his stomach.

"It's okay, Sam. Like I said, I get it. I'll be in and out in ten minutes, tops. You can watch me from here, if it makes you feel better." 

Sam took one last deep breath before letting Dean go with a dejected look on his face. The look he gave Dean made his heart swell, and that made his stomach tighten in knots, because even after Dean was hurt, he still couldn't look at anyone but Sam, especially since Sam started acting like his knight and shining armor.  It was starting to concern Dean how much he wanted to please Sam. He shook it off and started for the gas station bathroom, glancing over his shoulder with a small, reassuring smile.

He hoped Sam believed the smile more then he did.

~o~

One minute and twelve seconds.

That's how long Dean had been in the bathroom, and Sam had to fight every nerve in his body to keep from following after Dean. He knew that the protectiveness he felt in his stomach every time he even thought about Dean was probably unhealthy, but he couldn't help it. It was like he was infatuated with Dean, finding every move he made graceful and brave, finding that every time Dean snuck into his bed with his head tucked into his neck, he felt incredibly protective and possessive, ready to snarl at anyone who he even thought was  _thinking_  about thinking about Dean. 

Sam almost went stomping his way to the bathroom when Dean pushed open the door and made his way out into the open, with his signature swagger in his step and a cloud of confidence that he always seemed to have.

Sam wished he could remember when that confidence was real.

Dean gave a small smile and a wave as he pulled open the Mini Mart door, and Sam smiled back, not moving his eyes away from him for a second.

               ~o~                  

Dean placed the sandwiches on the counter, and waited as the scrawny boy rang up his items.

"That'll be five twenty." 

Dean had just shoved his hand down his pocket when a deep voice spoke next to him. 

"I got it."

Dean turned, and had to lean back to look at the mans face. He was handsome, he had to admit, but he still tensed. Sam was the only one he could be around without the memories coming back. He gave a shaky smile and took the bag the boy held out to him. 

"Thanks man. I owe you one." He turned and started for the door, and almost jumped when he felt a hand on his arm. He pulled away from the mans grip.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to startle you." The man held his hands up in surrender. "I just wanted to talk."

"Well, there. We talked. Now if you'll excuse me-" Dean was blocked as the man stepped in front of his path.

"You said you owe me right? Here's how you can make it up to me. I'm Josh." Jesus, it was like a start to a cheesy romcom. Dean took a deep breath and struggled to keep his voice from shaking.

"I'm- I'm Dean, and I really have to go-"

"Wait-"

"Is everything okay?"

Dean instantly relaxed as Sam stopped next to him and wrapped an arm around him. He leaned all his weight against Sam, and Sam pressed him closer to his side. The man gave an awkward smile and stepped back.

"I was just telling Dean-"

"Yeah, I don't care what you were doing. Stay away from him." Sam took his arm off of Dean, gripped his wrist and pulled him to the Impala.

They didn't speak the whole ride to the motel.

***

Dean walked quietly into the motel. He could feel the anger radiating from Sam. He sat on his bed and waited. 

Sam was staring at him, an unreadable expression on his face. Dean almost whimpered when Sam darted forward and gripped Dean tight by the shoulders.

"What the hell were you thinking staying in there with him?!"

Dean tensed and placed his hands on Sam's arms, trying to get Sam to let go. "I-"

"You don't know that guy! He could have been anyone, and if he hurt you, I wouldn't be there to-" Sam stopped when he saw the tears sliding down his face. "Dean..."

"I'm sorry!" Dean sobbed and let his head fall forward. Sam pulled him into a hug.

"Shh Dean, shh. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." Sam let go of Dean to wipe his tears. Dean sobbed harder.

"Don't- don't leave me Sammy! I'm sorry!" Dean wrapped his arms around Sam and buried his face in his chest. Sam could feel the vibrations of Dean's sobs.

"Do you really think that I'd- that I'd leave you?"

Dean nodded and pressed his nose against Sam's chest, something he'd been doing whenever he was upset and didn't want to talk.

"No Dean. Never. I'd never leave you." Sam framed Dean face with his hands, and wiped away more of his tears.

"Why?"

Sam furrowed his eyebrows and stroked Dean's hair. "Because I-"

Sam stopped, feeling the words claw at his throat. He looked at Dean's pleading face, begging Sam to prove to him that Sam wanted to stay, that he wasn't making Sam stay out of pity.

"Because I... I love you. So much."

Dean's tears stopped, and he blinked, face vacant. "What?"

Sam took a deep breath and touched his forehead with Deans. "I love you. Not in a platonic way." Dean gasped in a shuttering breath and wrapped his arms around his neck.

"I love you, too."

Sam could feel his own tears slowly pooling his eyes as he gently pressed his lips against Dean's salty ones, and he almost whimpered when Dean pushed back against him. They only pulled apart when they needed to breathe.

"Will you sing to me?"

Sam smiled as he climbed in the bed next to Dean, settling on his back and letting Dean lay his head on his chest. He rubbed his back.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

" _Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song, and make it better..."_

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed!


End file.
